BABY STUFF!

So I am getting so excited about a baby boy! I was very worried, hence my previous post, about not having a girl. It took a day or two to kind of realize wow, this is for real, because let me tell you there is no denying that this baby is a boy! :)
As soon as I found out that it was a boy, any and all health concerns flew out of my mind. I do not stay up at night and worry, or spend hours examining my ultrasounds and googling. It is a God send that I have a peace of mind. I don't know if it is because I sub-consciously associate a daughter with the horrible experience from before, which I hope that is not the case, but I really think in my mind I did sort of think of this baby as the last one, but now he is a he, he has a whole new identity. I also wanted to post two comments that my best friend Sierra and my sister said that made me chuckle.

Sierra: "This baby will be the perfect little baby God intended for you, penis or no penis". LOL!

Natalie: "Boys are so much better than girls, girls get upset about silly things and are way over-dramatic, such as you being dissapointed your baby is not a girl. A boy would never do that".

I also realized that the past week, I actually grieved properly for Faith. Last year, I knew she was gone, but instead of mourning her death, I went straight for the infertility obsession and focused on getting pregnant again. I know it was my way of coping but I never properly said goodbye. So, I may not be meant to have a daughter, and that is ok. The condition Faith had affects 80% of females, so that may be the reason this baby is a boy. Whatever the reason, the Good Lord knows best and I am finally at peace. And for those of you that are sick of me talking about this, I'm done! Ha! Now onto the boy things.

Mason Reid is his name. Pics to come of his room, cherry furniture and nautical bedding from Pottery Barn. He is going to be a precious addition to the Turner's!

It's a BOY!

So we found out the baby is a boy today! I am so excited that I can't stand it! I must have been very hormonal last week because I could not be more grateful and pleased that I have another healthy baby boy on the way! My house is full of baseball equipment and legos and we get to start all over again! Brad and I are very blessed and I just want to thank you all for your prayers and support. Now I get to go shopping and decorate a room which is just awesome!

I am having some issues, all emotional, and I thought of venting through my blog. So, I find out the baby's gender on Tuesday the 23rd and I really don't know how I feel about that. I am scared to know because it means I am that much more emotionally invested and that really scares me. I know everything is looking healhty but until I see and feel the baby in 4 months I will not be certain. I'm very jaded, I know! Also, I am apprehensive because the baby I lost was a girl and so I am so scared if this one is a girl I will feel guilty for 'replacing' my last daughter. And I feel guilty because I think I want a girl. I want to do the girly things and I have a boy so it would just be perfect to have one of each. On the other hand, I will be upset if it is a girl because of the replacement issue or how could I love this one and not transfer my love from that one to this one? Also, if its a boy what if I am upset that it's not a girl? And for months of infertility and anxiously waiting for a positive pregnacy test now I am being so picky about gender!? Come on Julie, you just wanted a baby just be happy with the baby! So now you probably think I need Prozac, and you are probably right. I know whatever God chooses for me and Brad will be exactly what we need and I will be ecstatic with either outcome. I am just having really mixed emotions and I am sure pregnancy hormones are not helping. If you could say a quick prayer that I will find peace and know as long as my baby is healthy I don't care what it is! Thanks gems!

Christmas 2009

Christmas 2009

This is a video my mother in law, Becky, made from our Christmas trip to Branson and then Christmas day. I thought it was really awesome!