Faith

I thought I would write about Baby Faith. I've been thinking about her a lot lately since she was due on September 15th. Several people have asked me what happened and I don't mind sharing because her life and death is a part of my life. To start from the beginning, Brad and I have had trouble conceiving for several months. When we were successful, it ended in miscarriage. So, we went to the dr to find out what the problem was, and she confirmed I was not ovulating and if I was, it was not a good egg which was causing the miscarriages. After being offerred several vigorous and very expensive options, we decided to chill for a couple months and after Christmas do something. Well in December we got pregnant. It seemed like a miracle at the time. In April I went in for my 18 week checkup to find out that my baby was a girl and get a few blood tests. I did not want to take the AFP test, because with Peyton I had it and they said he likely had down syndrome. I was worried my whole pregnancy. Since the test was optional, I opted out of it with Faith. Well Brad being the practical person he is talked me into getting it. So I did with the mindset that I didn't care what my baby had it was my baby and I would love it anyway. We got the results back the next week as being 'abnormal' but not to worry because it was just a screening not a confirmation. We went to the specialist at 21 weeks and they did a very high tech ultrasound that showed our baby. I knew right away, actually I knew my whole pregnancy something was wrong. I think Brad and my close family thought I was crazy and very pessimistic. I guess mother's instict is true. Anyway, the baby had a serious birth defect called anacephaly. It is a neural tube defect, which means her neural tube did not close all the way causing her skull not to form completly. Due to her skull not being formed totally, the brain was exposed. This condition is not compatible with life. The other neural tube defect that children can live with is spina bifida, which is when the neural tube doesn't close at the bottom of the tube or the spine. We were given two options. terminate the pregnancy or deliver on my due date. The last option was not recommended because the baby would undoubtedly die within hours or minutes of being born if not be a stillborn as well as pose several serious health issues for the mother if carried full term. Apparently since babies cannot swallow the amniotic fluid being produced due to the anacephaly, this causes it to build up in the mother and causes many problems. We decided to terminate the pregnancy. After thinking long and hard about it, we thought it was the best choice for everyone affected. I was very angry because instead of just feeling sad and devastated, I now felt sad, devastated, and guilty. How can a mother terminate her child's life regardless of the circumstances? We chose the name Faith because Faith is something hoped for but never seen. She went to heaven on May 14th to find the healthy body and mind she deserved. Hopefully we will have a healthy baby soon. I did find out I had a folic acid deficiency, which probably caused the anacephaly. I am now taking as recommended by my DR, 8X the normal dose of folic acid as well as a daily vitamin and a prenatal vitamin for the past four months. My dr also confirmed that I am ovulating, which is great news. Brad and I are very thankful to have one healthy sweet child, which is more than many people get. I wanted to post some pics of Faith, for those of you not experienced in ultrasounds, one is a picture of her very long leg which I love to look at. The other is a side pic of her whole body. Thank you for reading about our angel, and please pray for her spirit.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
From Psalm 48:14

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

Psalm 116:15